Our Senses

There is nothing I like better than a delicious chocolate dessert paired with a good cappuccino.  Clearly I have always loved chocolate, but I don't think I could even fully appreciate it before I started to like coffee!  The bitter coffee taste is so complimentary to the sweet chocolate, and vice versa.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it! The other day, when partaking in the aforementioned duo, I mentioned to my husband, "Wasn't God good to give us the coffee and chocolate beans?  And have them work together to be so heavenly on our tongue?"  OK, I don't think I said it quite that nicely, probably because I was too busy chowing down!  But he got the point.

That got me thinking about our sense of taste and what a gift it is from God.  Food certainly didn't need to taste good to give us sustenance.  There didn't need to be hundreds, perhaps thousands, of different flavors for us to enjoy.  And on top of that, He made it so we can appreciate different combinations of those flavors, like my chocolate and coffee!

And it doesn't end there:  Every time I look at my daughter's face when she's fallen asleep in my arms, every time I see the trees swaying lightly against the blue sky, every time I hear the rain falling outside or a beautiful piece of music that gives me goosebumps, every time my husband holds me in his arms, every time I smell a pine tree and think of Christmas, these moments are gifts from God.  Our senses could have simply been given to be purely utilitarian.  But instead, God chose to give us countless ways to make them come alive!

In no way is this an original concept, but I'm not sure you can truly grasp what I'm saying until you've had a moment where you realize what you are experiencing is one of God's gifts to you in this life.  And my moment recently was simply sipping a cappuccino and tasting some sweet chocolate.

The First Five Weeks

We have had an eventful few weeks here, and not just the ordinary busy-ness of taking care of a newborn!  In order to catch you up on things, I will provide a brief update, week by week (and keep in mind, this is all on almost no sleep!). Week 1 (of Audrey's life):  Audrey has high bilirubin levels, so we visit Pediatrician daily to get her heel pricked for blood tests. Levels continue to rise, so we are ordered off breast milk and onto formula for 3 days.  I pump 10x per day to build up my supply.

Week 2: Levels decline a bit, so we go back to breast milk.  Difficult transition from bottle and Audrey loses weight.  Pediatrician is worried about weight loss and hears a heart murmur.  Sends us to Pediatric Cardiologist and hospital for special blood work to see if she has a metabolic disorder.  Pediatric Cardiologist finds two congenital heart defects that will need to be monitored (and fixed, if not healed by one-year).  All blood work comes back normal, so we continue almost daily Pediatrician visits to monitor weight gain.

Week 3: Audrey gains weight, but not enough.  Agree to visit Lactation Consultant.  Ryan's parents come to visit.

Week 4: I have horrible stomach pains and visit emergency room.  Have "a lot of gallstones" and will need surgery immediately, but won't be able to breastfeed for a month.  I ask to delay surgery so I can pump to build up enough milk to last that month.

Ryan comes home with 103 degree fever.  I quarantine him to guest room so he can't infect me or Audrey.

Speak to lactation consultant, who says breastfeeding won't need to be delayed a whole month, and probably none at all, besides recovery time.  I am in a lot of pain and wish I had gotten surgery right away.

Audrey continues to gain, but still not enough.

Week 5:  Ryan begins to feel better.

I have an appointment to meet with surgeon. Audrey has appointment with Pediatrician(6 week check-up). We both have appointment with lactation consultant. I have appointment with obstetrician (6 week check-up).

We'll see how things go!

Through it all, I have felt so thankful for all the blessings in our lives: for the kind medical professionals we have encountered along the way, especially at St. Vincent's hospital; for the lactation consultants, and even for Audrey's weight loss that led me to them in the first place, so that they could help me deal with breastfeeding and surgery (otherwise, I wouldn't have nursed for a month!); for everyone's kind help and prayers; and most of all, for our parents, who have helped cook and clean and watch Audrey as we deal with our own health issues!  I feel like I have seen God's Providence at work in the midst of all this and can only praise him for taking care of us even when things feel overwhelming.

"The Lord is my strength." Psalm 28:7

Fuzz or Bug?

Recently, I have started playing a new game called "Fuzz or Bug?"  Actually, I've been playing the game for years, but only recently gave it it's name.  Here's how you play:  You first meticulously search your comforter, sheets, clothes, carpet, or anything where bugs could potentially hide.  You then pick up any spec that you can find and examine it.  Finally, you ask the question "Fuzz or Bug?"  If you answer "Fuzz", you win!  Luckily, in all my years of playing this game, I win every time!  And I just pray that I never lose, because if I'm holding a bug in my hand that I just found in my comforter, sheets, clothes, or carpet, I will not be happy.

Hot Blog Posts of 2010!

Unfortunately, there aren't that many.  Whereas last year, I had to double my usual list of five or six in order to fit in all my favorite posts, this year I couldn't even make that minimum.  Granted, I was not living overseas at all this year, and I was desperately sick for two months, but in looking back, I feel like I just "phoned it in" with some posts, in order to keep up with my monthly post resolution. So, here they are.  These four posts are the ones I felt most worth re-sharing from this past year:

My Niche - Big surprise... it's "chocolate"!

A Bit of Cheating - My successful* resolution to post every month has an asterisk because of this post.

Wishing I Had More Memories - Some thoughts about my grandmother's legacy, and my own.

What's in a name? - Explaining our daughter's name.

Celebrity Sightings

Just for fun (and with the recent addition of a new celebrity autograph), I thought I'd make a list of my celebrity sightings and the impressions I had of them.

• When I worked at a doctor's office in high school, we had a celebrity patient: Charles Grodin (of Beethoven fame). I remember the one time I saw him at the office he wore a hat and dark glasses. But he looked at me and cheerfully said, "Hello!" He seemed like a nice man.

• At a college visit in Chicago, my friend and I spotted Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey walking arm in arm at the airport. They were in sweats and looked so happy together! And they seemed fine to talk to fans when they were approached.

• At another trip to the airport, my husband and I saw Hank Azaria. He was talking cheerfully to fans, so I felt I had to approach him. I asked him for his autograph and asked if he would do a voice. So he said something to me as Moe (from The Simpsons). He was so friendly!

• On my honeymoon in Hawaii, my husband and I spotted Mike Meyers (Austin Powers, Shrek) on the Hana Highway in Maui. He did not look like he wanted to be approached or even recognized.

• On a flight from Germany, my husband and I saw Maggie Gyllenhaal (The Dark Knight) in first class. She seemed very friendly as well, although I didn't get a chance to approach her.

• And finally, on a recent trip to NYC, my friends and I saw Rachel Dratch (Saturday Night Live's "Debbie Downer"). My friends had seen her before me, and mentioned it to me. I started spouting about how I would have approached her if I had seen her. So then we saw her again, so I had to live up to my word! She was with her family and was not immediately accessible, so I hung around near her, feeling awkward. Finally, she saw me so I asked for her autograph. She was perfectly sweet and asked for my name. I told her and gave a few compliments. It was fun to meet her!

I think that's a complete list.  Not too bad, huh?  Airports seem the way to go if you want to spot celebrities.  Although, Los Angeles might be an even better bet.

What's in a name?

Before finding out that our baby was a girl, I was thinking a lot about names.  If it had been a boy, he would have been named David, for several reasons.  David is the name of Ryan's father, and also Ryan's middle name.  David also means "beloved", which is what Amy means.  But most of all, David in the Bible was a "man after God's own heart", and what more could I possibly wish for my son? It got me thinking a lot about David.  He was such a sinful man (not that I have the right to say that!).  But his sins were the big ones: lust, adultery, lying, and murder.  So how could this man possibly be so honored by God, that He could be called a man after His own heart?  I think it comes down to the fact that David was passionately in love with God.  His Psalms are a clear indication of that.  Through all his hardships, and all his sins, he always came back to the "unfailing love of God" and rested in that knowledge.

So just because my child will be Audrey Elizabeth instead of David, I still wish that for her.  She can still be a child after God's own heart and be passionately in love with Him, even if her name isn't David.  In fact, I still wish that for me, because I am His beloved, too.

Wishing I had More Memories

Last night I got to thinking about my grandmother, who was an amazing woman and lived a very full life.  Ryan had mentioned traveling to Ireland someday and I remembered that she used to go there every few years.  She was a very well-traveled woman, but to my knowledge, Ireland was the one country to which she kept returning, even well into her 70s.  I started to wonder why she kept going back?  Did she know people there?  Was it just the beauty of the place?  Did she travel around or always just go to one spot?  It actually saddened me that I didn't know and I began to wish she had kept a journal of her life so I could go back and check. Even if she had kept a journal, there's no reason it should have ended up with me over her other grandchildren or her children.  But I would have treasured it, and maybe even made copies for other people to enjoy, too.  Granted, when she first became ill, my father took the time to get her on tape recounting many stories from her life, and I have those on a DVD that I watch occasionally and bawl my eyes out.  But it doesn't answer all my questions, and I was too young to even know to ask questions before she died.

All that got me thinking about this blog and why I write.  I've written before about why I post, and I even touched on it a little bit then:

I also like the thought of having all these posts for my children someday, so that they have something to remember me by.  It’s almost like leaving just a small mark on this world, a small legacy in some way.

But now, when faced having actual children, and not just hypothetical ones, I'm even more convinced that this is a great way to pass on a little bit of my life.  And as I think back to my grandmother, and even generations before her, I wish they could have blogged, too!  So I will take greater care to write about things going on with me (in the most entertaining way possible, so I may stretch the truth at times!).  Who's to say my children or grandchildren will be the sentimental type who will actually care?  I can't say, but I will at least do my part for them.

A Bit of Cheating

I am usually very proud of the fact that I have been able to maintain this blog for over three years, never going an entire month without posting.  But faithful readers will have probably realized that I completely missed July this year!  Well, that is unacceptable to me, so I am going to do a bit of cheating.  But it's not really cheating.  I actually did write some posts in July, I just wasn't ready to publish them yet.  So I will be publishing over the next couple days and pre-dating them for when they were actually written (mostly in July).  I hope you will agree with me that this isn't actually cheating. If you are not yet convinced, here is another reason.  I had extenuating circumstances because... we are having a baby!  And I just wasn't ready to share that with the general public until now, but my thoughts (and my posts) have been on that general subject.  So, without further ado, I will go ahead and publish my July posts.  And if you're not interested in baby stuff or the (possibly ridiculous) wonderings of an expectant mother, I would advise you to just "Mark as Read" and move on.

In Love with Spring

Our Deck

I am officially in love with spring.  What with the beautiful and warm weather, our new deck and outdoor furniture, and my resolution to read all those books, I've been enjoying this spring more than ever!  I've never had a deck before, and even though it wasn't something we were looking for in a house, I am thrilled that the house we chose came with one.  I go out and just sit outside, enjoying the warmth of the sun, the comfy chairs, and a stack of good books.

Hot Blog Posts of 2009!

Usually at the end of the year, I write a post listing five to six of my favorite posts that I've written over the past year.  This year, however, has been such a full and exciting year for me, I have to list more!  So take some time to re-read some of these, or read them for the first time.  They are really quite entertaining.

1. Movie Review: Star Trek - A movie I didn't think I'd enjoy, but really did!

2. Happy Birthday to Me! - A letter that my grandfather wrote me on the day I was born.

3. Culture Shock, episode 3 - This still makes me laugh.

4. Book Review: The Wind in the Willows - A book I thought I'd enjoy, but didn't.

5. Charminar - A post full of videos to give you a taste of one of the biggest tourist attractions in Hyderabad.

6. Conversation at Charminar - This just strokes my ego.

7. Feel Free to Stare - Another that just makes me laugh.

8. Happy Birthday, America! - Things I don't want to take for granted again!

9. Culture Shock, final episode? - More things to get used to in India.

10. My Dent - Scary experience, but funny story!

11. it's getting longer... - Continuation of my short story.

it's getting longer...

This is a continuation of a short story written on this blog over two years ago. The girl had lived by herself for so long it was a hard adjustment once he had moved in.  His lifestyle was so foreign to her, but she accepted him because she had loved him and longed for him since that fatal day. He had been on his own for so long, it was a hard adjustment for him living there.  Her home was so distant from any other home that it made him feel lonely, even with her around.  He loved the company of others, even if he was conning them in the process.  But he couldn't leave her, now that they had found each other.  It had to be a miracle, the way their paths had crossed.  He had believed her dead, that he was all alone in the world, never knowing that family was just around the corner. But there had been more than family around the corner.  It had occurred to him that she must be very wealthy, but did not know it.  Now he stood to gain from finding her and being an heir himself.  He knew he had to stay with her, because she would fall apart again if he left.  But the longer he stayed, the more the sadness overtook him.  He became morose and depressed even as she laughed and chattered all day long.  She had even taken to visiting the town and talking with strangers, something she had never done before.  He knew he was the reason for her happiness, but he continued to feel the urge to leave. One day he decided to wander around the forest, and, telling her he'd be back by nightfall, he left to explore.  He fully intended to keep his word, because he cared for her more everyday, despite his misery.  He walked for miles, away from the town's border.  He knew if he went back to that town, he would not be welcome.  He hadn't stolen from the villagers, per se, but he had made some promises he had never intended to keep. On and on he walked, away from her and the town.  He didn't know what he expected to find, but soon he came across her house.  No, it couldn't be her house, but it looked very similar.  It was set in a large clearing and the evening sun shone on the leaves in just such a way to make it look like a painting.  His heart beat fast in his chest at the thought of meeting new people.  Perhaps even bringing her to meet them, too.  He quickened his pace to the front door and nearly pounded it down in his excitement.  But there was no answer.  He waited, much longer than is customary to wait in these situations, pounding over and over.  The sun was setting and he knew he should be getting back, which exasperated him.  He had to know who lived here; it was a matter of his own sanity!  So he grabbed the handle and pushed. It was unlocked, as he knew it would be.  People who lived this far from the village never locked their doors.  She never did because there were no other people around to keep out!  His first step inside, he glanced inside and nearly fainted.  There she was, happy as ever, smiling at him as if he had been expected.  He looked around, confused.  This was not the house he had left that morning.  He had been walking away from her, away from the house, away from town.  He had not circled back, he knew it.  Besides that, though the house was similar, it was not the same.  It was slightly larger and had different furnishings. She watched him gaze around the room.  His confusion amused her.  She didn't want to but she knew she must explain.  So it was with a heavy heart that she told him what she had done with the money.  She was letting him go, releasing him from his duties to her.  She knew what it meant for her life and though she was saddened, she cared for him more.  He had to leave for his sanity and just knowing he would occasionally come back to this house, his house, gave her some sanity, too. He loved her more than ever in that moment.  His heart ached to leave her, but her solution seemed best.  He had forgotten her inner depths that had realized what he was going through at her expense.  He left minutes later, knowing he would be back, promising he would be back.  But he would not come back alone.  He had a mission, and he would fulfill it before returning here, before returning to her.

TV Shows I'm Watching

At the risk of getting the judgmental eye-roll from my father, I would like to share what TV shows that I'm currently watching.  I am really only doing this because I feel the need to post on my blog, but also because I have 82 Google docs and have found that they make excellent blog fodder.  Here are some examples if you don't believe me: my journal from India, books I've read, and my essay on To Kill a Mockingbird.  And that's just to name a few!  So here's my list of TV shows I'm currently watching, taken straight out of my Google doc of the same name (and please don't ask why I keep a doc of them).

Monday: How I Met Your Mother (lost some of its fun, IMO) Dancing with the Stars (believe it or not, my grandmother got me hooked this season!)

Tuesday: NCIS (highest rated show on TV and sooo good!) NCIS: Los Angeles (highest rated new show on TV, and it's pretty good!)

Lost (finally caught up!) more Dancing with the Stars (I fast-forward through most of it, just to see the results)

Wednesday: The New Adventures of Old Christine (gotten pretty stupid, might quit watching) Hank (if you read my Twitter, you know where I stand with this) Cougar Town (not nearly as funny as it claims to be) The Middle (very funny, especially for a new show) Modern Family (funniest new show, Ryan even watches it with me)

Thursday: The Office (still got it) 30 Rock (same) Community (very funny new show, yay, Joel McHale!) Parks and Recreation (I still find it funny, but it's Ryan's least favorite on Thursdays) Survivor (always takes some time to get into it, but always ends up being enjoyable) The Mentalist (one I watch with my parents, good crime/drama show!)

Friday:

Monk (last season! looking forward to solving Trudy's murder) Ugly Betty (just started and still seems good) Numb3rs (another I watch with my parents, interesting but not my favorite crime/drama)

Saturday:

Saturday Night Live (eh)

Sunday: Desperate Housewives (it's actually a very funny show)

We bought a house!

I am not going to tell you where or what it looks like because of all you stalkers and perverts out there.  And if there's one thing I've learned from my mom about the internet, it's that it is full of perverts.  So if I know you and love you, you will be getting an email with our address once we move in. As you know, I found searching for a house stressful.  But I am learning that it is nothing to actually buying a house.  And I can only assume buying a house is nothing compared to owning and maintaining a house!  Why are we putting ourselves through this?!  I shouldn't mislead you, though.  I am more excited than nervous.

I'll keep you updated!

My Dent

I had a massage recently, and the masseuse seemed to be quite uncertain about what I like to call my "dent" in my right thigh.  Usually during massages, I comfort myself with the fact that these people have probably seen all kinds of bodies, so mine can't be much worse than the others.  But I don't think she had ever before come across a mid-thigh dent.  It got me thinking to what caused my dent and what a good story it would make for my blog. Let's begin by saying that 12 years old is too young for a boating license.  So really, I blame the state of Connecticut for imposing this ridiculously lenient law.  But I'm really not complaining.  Aside from the occasional confusion of a masseuse, I rarely ever think of my dent.  And I've had my boating license for 15 years now.

It was a sunny Saturday in mid-summer when my dad, cousin, and I attended the eight-hour long session that was (and still is) necessary to receive a boating license.  Having passed the test at the end, we all were excited to drive my dad's brand-new jet ski down at the beach.  But jet skis need motor oil, and when we realized ours' was nearly out of it, my dad put my cousin in charge (my cousin was a year older and never let me forget it) and left to buy some.

"Well, we have our boating licenses, so let's take this thing for a spin!"  I don't know who made that fateful suggestion, but the other agreed to it!  So my cousin hopped in the driver's seat, and I scooted up behind him and held on for dear life.  He was driving so fast, with quick turns and the occasional 180 degree spin.  I don't know if you've ever been on the back of a jet ski while someone else drove -and rather erratically at that! - but it's scary!  So I closed my eyes to block it out and said nothing.  After all, I could do anything a boy could do!

And then we stopped.

I opened my eyes and saw a huge sail boat motoring towards us.  I don't know if my cousin thought the boat was stopping or if he thought he could beat it, but suddenly he hit the gas and we shot forward.  Unfortunately, the boat didn't stop.  And we didn't beat it.  And that boat sailed right up onto my leg and sent me flying 20 feet off the jet ski.

I swam back to the jet ski.  The owners of the boat reprimanded us, because we had been driving across the channel (a big no-no and something we had learned in our class earlier that day) and asked to see our boating licenses.  We were humiliated and rather scared.  We drove back to the beach, and while my cousin lamented the damage to the jet ski, I ran for my dad.  When he found me, I was sobbing and limping, so of course he thought the worst.  It was probably good for my cousin that he did expect the worst, because when he found my cousin safe and sound and saw the minor damage to the jet ski, he was only relieved.

Nearly my entire leg turned yellow, then black and blue, and swelled to nearly double its size.  But the yellow, black and blue faded and the swelling receded.  And all that was left was a dent.  A dent the size of the bow of a huge sail boat.

Twitter is beating up my blog.

If you actually visit my blog (as opposed to reading it through your reader), you will know that I have started tweeting.  And because of it, my blog has suffered. I really didn't think it would make a difference.  But then I read an article (unfortunately, I cannot find it to link), the gist of which was that Twitter has made short, quick blog posts a thing of the past.  I used to take a small idea, flesh it out a bit, and turn it into a whole blog post!  But now I don't even have to put in all that work to get my idea out there.

For example, one of my Twitter posts yesterday was, "Pet peeve: someone correcting grammar in a library book...when it's in dialog!! Dialog doesn't have to be grammatically correct!!!"  I could have turned this into a whole post about pet peeves or grammar or writing good dialog (which, I flatter myself, I do well).  I probably could have even turned it into a series of posts on pet peeves or grammar or writing good dialog!  For that matter, it could have become a new "Chocolate flavor" on pet peeves, or grammar, or writing good dialog.

But no, the lazy side of me enjoys Twitter for its simplicity and 140 character limit.  And so soon after my 3-year bloggiversary (I don't think I coined that word), my blog suffers.  I am committed to post here at least once a month, but for a while, I was posting several times a week!  I'm afraid those days are gone.  Perhaps they will resurface when I am back in a routine, but for now, look for me on Twitter.  Or even just watch this blog for Twitter updates to the right.

Happy Birthday, America!

Living abroad has made me appreciate so many things about my home country that I took for granted before (and probably will again).  So today I thought it would be appropriate to list just a few of the things I'm thankful for with regard to my country. I am thankful for personal freedoms, that I can write what I want, even with regard to this country and its politics, that I can practice religion without fear of persecution.  I am thankful for a free market and capitalism, which I truly do believe make everyone better off.  I am thankful for convenience stores, which really are so convenient!  To sell milk, light bulbs, and picture frames all in one store is a marvel!  And I am thankful for diversity.  What a blessing it is to be in one country (or state, or town, for that matter!) and be able to meet people of different backgrounds, cultures, races, and ethnicities.  It is truly an enrichment of our country and our lives.

So Happy Birthday, America!  This is not about politics or patriotism.  This is simply realizing of what I should be thankful and an acknowledgment of that.  I wish you many more birthdays to come.

If I were on Twitter...

This is what the past couple days' twitterings would be:

• 11am Monday:  Just got The Sims 3!  I think I'll play for a couple minutes just to see what it's like!
• 12pm Monday: Still playing The Sims 3.  It's fun!
• 3 pm Monday: Still playing.
• 11pm Monday: Still playing.  Must get some sleep.
• 11am Tuesday: Good morning!  I think I'm going to get some work done today!  I played too much Sims 3 yesterday, so today will be a productive day.
• 11:05am Tuesday: Decided it couldn't hurt to play for an hour or two.
• 11pm Tuesday: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
• 11am Wednesday:  Will definitely get work done today.
• 12pm Wednesday:  Just did some dishes, now I can reward myself...
• 3pm Wednesday: Must. stop. playing.  Will go do chores.
• 3:30pm Wednesday: Laundry in machine!  Now I can say I was productive today!  Off to play some Sims!
• 1am Thursday:  Ryan is telling me to stop playing Sims and go to bed.  But since when do I obey him?

Well, I think you get the picture, so I won't continue.  It's really just more of the same.  But today is a new day!  Admittedly, it's already 4pm and I've been playing the Sims for the past 3 hours, but no more!  Today I will make up for a wasted week!

• 7pm Friday: I guess I should go "make up for a wasted week" now...

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