Loving God

In working my way through the Bible in one y​ear, as part of my resolutions, I'm currently working through Ezekiel and Psalms. An interesting combination, and not one originally designed by the plan I am reading. To be honest, I got behind in reading Isaiah and Jeremiah, so I skipped ahead and read through the minor prophets, which consequently led me to Psalms. So now in an effort to catch up, I'm working through Ezekiel as well.

I've always been fascinated by Psalms, because there aren't many people in the Bible to be called a man after God's own heart, like David was. David loved God without restraint, even in the hard times, even when it might be embarrassing (his wife, Michal, hated his singing and dancing and praising God in the streets, but David didn't care! He had to let it out! 2 Samuel 6:16). But you know what else is interesting about David? He didn't have the New Testament, all he knew was the God of the Old Testament.

Yes, I know, He is the same God. But so often we take the qualities of Jesus and reflect on those as to why we love God. He is gentle, kind, loving, accepting of any kind of people, even if he rebuked their sinfulness. The God we see in the Old Testament is fierce, just, angry and full of wrath. How can we harmonize these two pictures?

Well, David did. He was able to see God's loving traits even through the sometimes terrifying picture we have in the Old Testament. And he loved God for every aspect of who He was, not just the parts that are easy.

Reading Ezekiel has put me face-to-face with this terrifying God. The visions that Ezekiel sees are enough to make anyone feel weak in the knees! His body is made of fire, for goodness sake! (Ezekiel 8:2)

But David says that God is our Fortress, He is our Refuge (Psalms 59:16). David is helping me understand how to love the terrifying God, as well as the merciful and loving God. The God that scares me so much is ON MY SIDE! I can run and hide behind his strength and power, and he will protect me, comfort me, and give me peace.

I feel very inadequate at trying to explain what I'm learning here. So I'll go to CS Lewis for a different analogy. In his Narnia series, Jesus is portrayed by a lion, about whom Mr. Beaver says, "Safe? Who said anything about safe? Course he isn't safe! But he's good. He's the King, I tell you." (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe)

This God, who is all powerful and fearsome, is also good and loving, and on my side. Like David says, "In God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?" (Psalms 56:11) I should never fear.

So it must have been Providence that led me to read Ezekiel and Psalms at the same time, and not just my laziness at reading certain, more difficult, books! I'm learning to love God for all of who He is, and in doing so, I am able to trust Him more.

A Letter

Hi friends! If you hadn't noticed, I just made my April blogging quota by the skin of my teeth! In fact, why am I posting again, when I could just save this until tomorrow and have May's done as well? I guess I just felt like writing. This is going to be one of those stream-of-consciousness posts, because I don't really have anything to say. But my last post like this got a lot of feedback, so maybe it's the only post I'm good at? (I expect to see a lot of "Oh no, that's not true"s in my comments section!)

My neck hurts today, which is weird because I just left the choir-practor yesterday (thanks, Aunt Dottie, for getting that pronunciation in my head!). Audrey is up past 30 pounds, but still believes she's my baby (that's OK, she is!) and wants me to hold her a lot. So my neck, shoulders, and back are always in pain. The choir-practor had really been helping up until now, and the appointment I had yesterday was a bit too new-agey for my taste (what does "You have unlimited life-force" mean?) (No, don't tell me, not really interested.).

Hugo is driving me crazy! When he has to go out, he prances around the room like a maniac, and his long nails click click click on the floor until I want to kick him. Hmmm... should I not admit that? I'd never do it! *click click click* But I don't want to take him out right now because Audrey is asleep (for once! she rarely naps anymore) and any movement *click click click* outside this back room might wake her up!

Sometimes I think her light day-sleeping is just an excuse for me to sit and watch TV with my computer or ipad on my lap, but no really, it's true. I remember telling my cousin not even to open the door, because she'd wake up screaming. She didn't believe me, opened the door, and Audrey woke up screaming! And now Hugo is pawing at the door, so I have a dilemma on my hands... Wake up the screaming toddler or clean up a pile of poop? What would you do?

*click click click*

Weirdly, I think I'd rather clean up the poop. Having a baby changes your priorities, believe me. And what you can stand... For example, my squeamish husband has cleaned poop out of the bathtub while in the middle of giving my daughter a bath. That is something I never could have possibly imagined him doing pre-daughter!

I'm addicted to dragon games on my iPad. Or castle games. I'm reading Wheel of Time still, and we started watching Game of Thrones. I used to play World of Warcraft, and I fall asleep every night listening to Harry Potter or LOTR. Sensing a pattern here? I didn't until the other night, while watching Game of Thrones, I was playing Dragonvale, Dragon Story, Castle Story, Lil' Kingdom, The Sims Medieval, and The Hobbit: Kingdoms of Middle Earth. It's getting excessive.

I'm also watching How I Met Your Mother reruns. I'm not sure why. I just like sitcoms, even though this show went seriously downhill after about season 3. I also like to have something on in the background while I work at night. Barney is starting to remind me of one of my friends who reads this blog, too. Not sure why, his sense of humor I guess? Not his womanizing!

The leaves are coming out and the flowers have bloomed and it's just a gorgeous time of year. Do you know I hated spring during my school years? It always signaled change to me, and that scared me. But now I feel like I'm finally appreciating its beauty. I feel bad for Ryan with his horrible allergies.

*click click click*

OK, Audrey is awake and it's now safe to take out the dog. The urge to kick has not stopped, but the writing has kept it at bay. At least now I don't have to make that unpleasant choice!

Amy

P.S. Nevermind.

MOPs and Pinterest

About a year ago, I got it into my head that I'd like to join a MOPs group. But there wasn't a single group nearby! So I spoke to the leadership at my church about starting our own, and we did! We've been meeting once a month (with discussion and craft time), with a scattering of play groups and special events. I've enjoyed it so much, and love that it is a way that I can use my love for crafting! Pinterest has been a huge source of those crafts, but I also am very fortunate that I have a fully functioning pottery studio at my fingertips! So several of our meetings have offered pottery painting. We've also had a couple events at the pottery studio, where the moms can get in touch with their artistic side, while their children are cared for and lunch is provided afterwards.

Here are some of the other crafts we've tried:

Honey-Brown-Sugar-Scrub-Recipe

This was one of my favorites! We did these for our Easter meetings, and after the meeting, I made a bunch more to hang on my pussy willows.

Magnets - We did button magnets, but also picture frame magnets, Bible verse magnets, and more! Another fun, easy one.

Lip Gloss - we did this one with the scrub (the meeting was on self-care as a mom), and it was a good thing. I don't think it came out great, but it was fun to try!

We did bored jars and conversation starter jars.

This one is so cute! We had it on the wall for the Christmas season, and Audrey had fun with it for about a minute. But still worth it!

That's a few of them! And oh! I have so many more fun ideas! Thankfully, we will be doing our MOPs group for another year starting in September. If you're a mom in the area, come and join us!

What I've Learned from Audrey: A Work in Progress

I started writing a post entitled "What I've Learned from Audrey" and had so many points listed out, I thought instead that it could be a series, of which this is the second. When I first started writing that post, I'll be honest, it was just to get one done in the month of May. But it really caused me to start thinking about the past two years, all I've learned, and how much I've changed through motherhood. And once in a while, a little introspection is probably a good thing. One of the scariest things about motherhood is the burden that we carry to pass on every lesson that we've learned the hard way and the knowledge of the impossibility of the task and the fact that our children will probably have to learn their own lessons the hard way, anyway! But I know in this short time that I do have with my daughter, I can make a (hopefully!) positive impact on her life.

I have to be so careful about what I say, or even how I perceive myself, because whether I want her to or not, Audrey will emulate me, especially in her youth. I want her to be confident, to love Jesus, to be compassionate and forgiving, among so many other things. Because of that, I have to be those things as well.

Even at two years old, I already see trying to be like me. Sometimes it's wonderful, like when she hugs me tightly and says, "I love you sooo much!" which is exactly what I say to her. Sometimes it's just in her expressions or silliness. But I know the time is coming when I'll recognize in her something that's not good in me.

I guess, in her own way, Audrey is teaching me to live the way I should have been living all along. By pursuing Jesus, by being healthier, by being kind, by prioritizing my time. It's still a struggle, but now I not only see the results in my own life, but in her's as well. So this burden that I carry is pushing me to improve myself and be the best mother I can be.

I feel the need to quote Frasier here:

F: "I meant burden in it's nicest sense!" F's dad: "As in, 'gee, what a lovely burden!'??"

This is indeed a "lovely burden".

Related: What I've Learned from Audrey: Love